i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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