Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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