I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
