Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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