My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
