You're completely useless in the revolution.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
