I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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