Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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