Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize