Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
