Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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