Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
