just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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