Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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