and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize