If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
