You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
