im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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