Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
