so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
