I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
