you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
