What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
