this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
