you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
