I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
