yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
