I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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