hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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