I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
