The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
