An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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