you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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