I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
