A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
