He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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