Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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