between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
