I feel great
I just peed on a car
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
