dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Actions speak louder than pants.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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