..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
