His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
