Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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