So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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