just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
