sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
