I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
