Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
