Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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