I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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