I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
