Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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