I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
