I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
