You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
