Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
