you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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