He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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