piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
