they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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