Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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