Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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