Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
