How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
