my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
