Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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